Topic: Zagreb Diary 
Response  51  of  67
 Written  9:53 PM  Jun 15, 1992 by wamkat in gn:yugo.antiwar 
Subject: Zagreb Diary

Zagreb Diary
15-06-1992

Dear Friends,

Today I recieved the second part of my diary after Jim Forest went over it with his editing knowledge and I must admit it is a lot better this way then I ever could write it, again he did a fantastic job. But even with all his knowledge my material never ever can become a similar story as the book "Being Peace"from the monk Thich Nhat Hanh (Vietnam, published by Parallax Press, P.O.BOX 7355, Berkeley, Ca 94707, USA), I am so glad that I took it with me, since it give relief for all my thoughts. In Sittard it lays for month on my computer, without me having the time to really read and understand it (I got it on my birthday in November from Robert, an other world traveller, who had his nest for some weeks in my home town). 

Nevertheless you may know the book or you may getting to know this book I like to take a part out of it, it is for me a relief that I am not one of the only ones who seems to be thinking different. Now it becomes more and more clear that a military intervention from the UN will not come fast and it even seems that Croatia and BiH are adopting that reality and try to "liberate" their countries themselves, still the discussion about yes or no military intervention is in the air. When I was looking for a argument which could strengthen my thoughts I opened the book on a page which is probably the best answer on my question. Thich Nhat Hanh lives in exile in France and receive a lot of letters from refugees from all over the world, one of this letters was about a girl from 12 years old, who was raped by a Thai pirate, after it happens she jumped into the Ocean and drowned herself.

"When you first learn of something like that, you get angry at the pirate. You naturally take the side of the girl. As you look more deeply you will see it differently. If you take the side of the little girl, then it is easy. You only have to take a gun and shoot the pirate. But we cannot do that. In my meditation I saw that I had been born in the village of the pirate and raised in the same conditions as he was, I am now the pirate. ....... I saw that many babies are born along the Gulf of Siam, hundreds every day, and if we educators, social workers, politicians, and other do not do something about this situation, in 25 years a number of them will become sea pirates.....If you take a gun and shoot the pirate, you shoot all of us, because all of us are to some extent responsible for this state of affairs."

I have to admit that it is hard to think the same way when 300.000 people in Sarajevo are involved, but I still like to try to keep my mind concentrated on this text. Even after seeing the warzones again and spending days together with people who lost everything they had and lots of them even their closed families (1 out of each seventh refugee has lost (killed or disappeared) one or more relatives. according to some small research done in the camp were I was).

In such surroundings it is hard to keep your neutrality high, but I have learned never to start a discussion about what people tell me, other then saying that I try to stay neutral if they ask me were I stand in all this. If people don't ask I am not trying to start a talk about. When they ask it is early enough and mostly I have build up some type of trust already. What can I do otherwise then listing to their stories. Even when those stories are pure war stories, including their own personal hero story in which they explain in detail how they killed personally one or more Chetniks (this is the word they use, not me). If you see the trembling and the drinking you know that the reality behind all those brave stories is different. It is often a fight to survive out there between the lines. Where sometimes two centimetres to the left or right is deciding about dead or life.

How brave the soldiers may be, even the young ones, the last days I often talked with boys which were not even 20 years old, calling themselves professional killers, (it stroked my mind that if I was there ages and would have wanted they could have been my children), sitting behind there playing with their guns on their lap, watching with a half eye the same American and English music clips as there Serbian counterparts (since they were broadcasted by Beograd television) telling how the "escape" from JNA barracks in Serbia and fought their way through the lines to Croatia and now are willing to give their lives for their country. 

If you asked them what their future will look like most of those younger soldiers say that they will stay in the army, the older ones mostly answer that they return back to their work, after having "liberated" it. If you travel through the country and see all the former JNA barracks you often get the feeling that this country lived closely with their army, before the war there were according to the statistic around 80.000 JNA officers, but that number gets more alive when you see all those small cities were JNA had their barracks and were in the autumn of last year heavy street fights took place.

Were all those weapons came from is for me still a miracle, it is known that JNA took all the weapons from the territorial defence groups in the villages and towns when the tension were raising. But the stories a legio about local "heroes" like Glavac in Osijek, who made strong speeches to attack the JNA barracks and provided dozens of untrained youngsters with weapons in order to attack the barracks. One of the reasons that Osijek hospital is so damaged and later on more hospitals around the country is probably because of the fact that in those days, especially on local level this unorganised attacks also came from the hospitals. Not many people in Osijek will admit it, but some do, but the JNA barracks were shot at from the hospital (which is just on the other side of the street). This is ofcourse no argument for shooting at hospitals and even ambulances, but it explain at least something of this madness (even if it is hard to understand).

For those who like to know about the cathedral of Osijek, good news, the end of this week there will be a big International benefit concert in Zagreb to gather many to repair the cathedral. And when I walk around it the other day it look not that damaged as I thought in the first places, I think that most of the damaged can easily been repaired (with some help of good restauration experts (from abroad)).

My nationalism should be high at this moment, since on the television they are broadcasting the football match between the Netherlands and CIS (or what is the name for the commonwealth of most of the former USSR). But they only thing what I think is funny is to hear the name of all those Dutch guys pronounced in a way I never heard it before.

Tomorrow it is poster making day again, more and more groups are asking to design posters for them, so if not soon money will come another way I should start to ask money for it. It is stupid that every day that I can't pay my telephone bill from May I have to pay 1% extra tax, which is ofcourse used for things I absolute disagree with, but what can you do,

With Love and Peace from Zagreb,

Wam:-)



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