Topic: Missing Diaries and other texts 
Response   6  of   9
 Written  5:11 PM  Jul 30, 1992 by wamkat in gn:yugo.antiwar 
Zagreb Diary
24-07-1992

Dobar Dan,

I honestly don't know what you are thinking, but I think we are writing history here. Never before did electronic networks, to my knowledge played such a role in grassroot relief work as during this war. With Beograd, Ljubljana, Sarajevo and Zagreb on line (knowing that f.e. university workers in Croatia got a warning that when they participate in a foreign event where there are people from Serbia involved they may get problems in the future) we are breaking through the normal barriers in a war.

But what stroke me more is the solidarity and the trust, nearly none of you I ever have seen, and still many of you like to help, whenever I ask. The is a type of blind faith in what people are doing. But do you know what a chaos it often can be on our office in our group. Of course I am not hanging out the dirty wash (as we say in the Netherlands). But still you trust us, it seems.

Breaking the mistrust, just being plain solidair and taking the reality as it is, with her good and bad sides. Not trying to change it into my cultural views, but excepting the wave we are riding on, together. We are in this together... In seems that we here in Zagreb are in the frontline (and in Sarajevo, Ljubljana, Beograd), but we are not, we are just here. But we all are in the frontline. We can all make the different. 

With your cooperation we can break through walls of prejudices here. Every form of support how small it is doesn't matter has a positive result about trust in the outside world. Mistrust makes war, make fight happening. None of us is here to get any better them selfs. After the war is over I will return in the darkness and maybe we will meet again somewhere, somehow, but that is not important. Important is that we have got now here in EX-YU a war on our hands, a real one, in which people get killed and according to UNHCR app. nearly 2.000.000 are somehow on the road. 

That is reality, I can't change that, I know that it is foolish to help their were big organisation even aren't able to cope with the needs. But I am a fool, you know, a fool on the nets, and I believe that we can help. The wars in EX-YU are big, but they consists out of a lot of small problems, each of them can be solved, even when it looks that the total problem as such can't be change. I notice day after day that people get passive and don't know what to do, when they see all that misery on the news.

It is not necessary to organise big demo's it would help us and the problems here much if you demonstrate all over the place, there is nothing to demonstrate against anyway. Combine your efforts in another way. There are million of creative ideas in these countries, wishes and dreams, they need help, not much but just a little to start. If you see how the Croatian volunteers have run around to get funding and sponsor ship for our workcamps it is shaming how less I could help them.

Lives is going on there as well as here, one of my problems is to trust you, to rely on you when we are planning our workcamps for the winter. For every volunteer who comes here we need app. 350 dm per month to host and feed them somehow, we don't get that money from the government or are able to raise in otherwise locally. The risc is high, and I have to say often yes or no, we go for it or not. Sorry for bodering you with my own small problems. It is nothing of a problem really, people who know me a bit knows that I will go for it. So it is no probem.

The experiences with the reactions of the newspapers backhome on my stories was positive, promissing. Just go to your local newspaper and tell you have contacts direct with EX-YU. You are able to inform them with the human picture of the war. You can explain why you can help even on local level, and be sure they are going to help you. Suddenly you will you can move people and things can be done.

We have 10 more workcamps coming, each of them cost us 7.500 Dm to organise totally, adopt one with your city, it would safe us a lot of worries. Just say to us we take the responsibility and start to get things going in your hometown, for most towns it is reachable.

I am happy and proud to be part of this electronic history writing. Since it shows that this media can be used in many ways,.

On the other hand I am the fool which disappears when it is over, and the people here stay behind. They have to make choices today for an uncertain future. Who and  what to trust. What will happen next, after we are gone from the front pages. It is nice to be in the burning point of the news, you suddenly can ask for things, for help, but what happens when it is over. I did make the war, it was here when I came.

Sometimes I finished with something positive today I will reserve the last lines for something negatives. A negative tension from me. Just before every camp we receive calls from persons who wants to know if it is safe here. They have heard that... and that..., Dutch ministry of Foreign affairs and Red Cross are saying e.g. that they it is not safe here, they advise people not to go. So every time I have to tell to my Croatian volunteers, sorry 3 from the 15 (20%) is not coming, they are afraid. 

It is war and you should know that, it is not as safe as the north pole, but there you can be freezing to dead. The change that you get hit by a bullet in Washington e.g. is bigger than in Zagreb. It makes me disappointed if people don't take the full consequences from their step to say they like to help. 

I hope that I am not offending anybody, but please don't promise anything if you are not sure you can emotionally cope with the situation here. It is a hard life, the problems are big, but together we can beat them, but we need to trust each other. If I say it is safe, trust me, and not a rumour, because I feel it as mistrust in me, I am NOT lying and wouldn't send anybody into a dangerous zone. 

With Love from Za-mir-greb,

Wam:-)



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